How are you honoring yourself?
We are taught from a young age to take care of others. For women, this is a more frequent message that we are given. In the course of our lives, many times, we are told that we are the "role model" or that we are the "keeper" of others, especially if you have a sibling that is younger than you. For many of us, we are frequently taught that others are more important than self.
These are mixed messages for many of us. We are giving ourselves to make sure that others are taken care of, and that is a noble cause. However, at what cost? When we are busy taking care of others' needs, we forget to take care of ourselves. We give up sleep, time, food, and money to take care of others. This is not to say that you "should" forsake your fellow human, but know your limits. Some of the most giving people that I know are the ones that are in the most need of help. They are the people that are willing to give to others, but most of them know the limits that they have, and some forget that they need care too.
For those of you that have met me in person, you know that I love to tell people that I am awesome. Truth is, I am. I am a great and powerful woman. I am a warrior. I have been in need, and I have been prosperous. I have had the tough times that many don't know about, and I have had the times of elation that are just as personal. And one of the most important things that I had to learn to say to people is "NO". This was not done out of malice, but I knew that my health, my mental and physical well-being could not sustain such stress and duress. I had to learn that I am not the "babysitter" of everyone else's emotions. I am not here to make sure that others are happy. I am here to make sure that I am happy and that I don't harm anyone else in the process. I love when people join me in my joy, but I also appreciate those that want to join in my sadness as well.
Learn how to honor yourself. Learn what you want and how you want your life to look. Do things that lead you toward that goal, that life, that purpose.
Much Love to you ALL!!!
Just to begin. I cannot stand the word "should". There are several reasons for this. Actually, there is a small list of words that I cannot stand because of the way that they are used in our society.
Should is one of the biggest ones on the list. It shares a space with the phrase "supposed to". UGH!!! These words/phrases are so judgmental in nature and most of us don't even realize it.
If you don't know me personally or professionally, you may not know that I live by The Four Agreements. It is a quick read and it offers insight into how we interact with our world. It offers a fresh (based on Toltec Wisdom) take on how we interpret ourselves within our society.
Frequently, when we use the word "should" or the phrase "supposed to", it is because someone else (parent, teacher, friend, pastor, etc.) has told us that this is the "rule". However, where did that come from? For instance, moms that believe that they "should" be doting with their children and accommodate every single need have been taught that this is the "proper" way to do things. However, moms that believe that children "should" be allowed to make mistakes and learn through natural consequences believe that this is the "proper" way. However, where is the book on how to raise every single child in the world. There is not one. There is no book on how to raise every child because they are all different in their thoughts, feelings, abilities, and talents. Therefore, there would need to be a new book written for every single child. That would be tedious work for anyone.
I challenge you to be mindful of the times that you use the word "should" in your own self-talk. I encourage you to look at the things that you are "supposed to" do and ask yourself how they serve you in your life.
I look forward to our next little "session", and until then, Much LOVE!!!
I just want to start by saying that these are two of the most infuriating statements that I have ever heard in my entire life. Not because they are infuriating to me, per se, but I know how infuriating they can be to someone that is in an emotionally stimulated state.
Most of the time when someone is upset to the level of “calm down” or they are at the stress level of “get over it”, it is because THEY are having difficulty processing some pretty significant information to THEM. This is a serious issue for THEM. However, frequently when we tell someone to “calm down” or “get over it”, it is because WE are uncomfortable with their emotional state. WE are having difficulty navigating our own emotions related to THEIR response. It has nothing to do with THEIR crisis or confusion or frustration.
Rather than telling someone to calm down, how about finding a way that honors their difficulty. A phrase that I frequently use is, “I need you to take a breath. I am having difficulty understanding what is going on.” This allows you to take accountability for your own difficulty without projecting it onto them. It also allows them the opportunity to pause to find appropriate language to express what their needs are.
You may be asking yourself, “Who is this woman, and why should I listen to her?” Well, truth be told, I don’t know. However, what I do know is that life can be hard and societal norms can be suffocating. So, maybe that will be helpful to you.
At the time of this writing, I am pushing the half-century mark in my life, and I am pushing toward the quarter-century in my marriage. I am a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a daughter, a social worker, a life coach, a reiki master, an animal lover, a spiritual person, but more than anything else, I am a human being. I have had the honor of walking this world for almost 50 years. And I couldn’t be more grateful.
I know, it sounds cheesy, but it is the truth. I am not going to give you my life story because to me, it is boring. However, I have known a lot of upset in my life. From being in an abusive relationship, to being in an adoring one. From losing a child, to watching one reach his 30th birthday. From being homeless, to holding a master’s degree. From drug use, to being a caring soul for those who feel that all is lost. I have run the gambit of what it means to be human. I have hitchhiked across the country, and I have also spent time getting my roots.
So, if you are interested (or just morbidly curious) to see what comes from this head of mine, stay tuned.
Much Love & Goddess Bless
Life is Beautiful Therapeutic Services, LLC (LIB-TS) is a alternative therapy practice that focuses on ensuring that the treatment that you get is right for you. It is my intention to ensure that each individual is treated with the dignity and respect that every person deserves regardless of race, socioeconomic status, religion/faith, or sexual orientation/identification.
LIB-TS is a holistic therapeutic practice that specializes in the joining of energy alignment, mental health, and spiritual understanding. It is a goal of LIB-TS to incorporate treatment of the body, mind, and spirit to ensure that those that need help to get the help they want.
Along with having certifications in several mental health and therapeutic service programs, I strive to help build the whole person through supporting nutritional, physical, and spiritual well-being and activities. I pride myself on serving people in the holistic sense and not just the symptoms.
I am a very laidback woman. I am a Licensed Certified Social Worker, and I have been in practice in the fields of mental health and substance abuse for over 15 years. I love what I do and I have a passion for helping to end the stigma associated with mental health.